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It’s safe for you to say that you have mastered your motherhood role after decades of being a mother. After a few I dos, a nice party and some more, you were made a mother-in-law. How do you become the mother-in-law that your son or daughter will be proud of? These tips will help you build a loving and long-lasting relationship with your child’s spouse.

Recognize the fact that your role has been reduced in the life of your child.

Your son or daughter may have considered you the most important person in their lives until now. Their spouse takes over that role once they are married. This is an important step towards a healthy relationship.

Talk to your son- or daughter-in-law with positivity and joy.

Negativity can ruin any relationship so keep your eyes on the positive. Although it may be difficult to overlook their negative traits and behavior, it is important for family bonding to keep the light on.

Keep important details of their lives in your mind

Show them you care, whether it was a job offer that was not yet in the works or a half marathon they were planning to run. You’ll make them feel special if they remember you.

Don’t be too snobby.

It doesn’t matter how detailed their experience was. It’s enough to ask them, “How was the marathon?” Let them talk. After they are done, encourage them by saying something like “Even though your finish was not the best, it’s an amazing achievement that you ran the entire race.”

Play fair.

Don’t gift your son a cashmere sweater, but give it to your daughter-in law. This will send a message about inequality. Your daughter-in law will be delighted to receive a gift that is equal in value and taste.

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Do not choose sides.

Stay out of a fight between newlyweds. You will always be there for your child.

Be true to your beliefs.

You think they should stop paying for gym memberships and start saving up to buy a house. Keep your cool, even if they are in your best interests. They don’t require your approval or permission, so challenging them will only make them angry or defensive.